RIP, Enrico Pallazzo, Joaquin, logic

So after reading that Leslie Nielsen died on Sunday night, I spent the remainder of the evening enjoying his work on YouTube.
The tendency in these situations is to try to overstate the connection, but honestly, I can never watch somebody sing the national anthem without hearing this:

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Speaking hilarious tragedies, did anybody read Phil Rogers’ Sunday column? He’s jumping on the Jeter train and lists the White Sox as a “possible” landing spot:

White Sox: Realistically there’s little chance they will get Jeter but the fit shouldn’t be discounted out of hand. Alexei Ramirez, like Castro, is a rising star. But his original four-year deal ends in 2011 and he will become an expensive proposition starting in ’12. If the White Sox signed Jeter, they could make a series of moves that would give them a chance to win in ’11 and ’12, the last seasons they could have their strong starting rotation in place.
Ramirez could be dealt, quite possibly to the Yankees along with a bad contract or two (Mark Teahen or Scott Linebrink and catching prospect Tyler Flowers) for Curtis Granderson and possibly one of the Yankees’ two advanced catching prospects, Jesus Montero and Austin Romine. Then they could explore seriously another deal that has been discussed — Carlos Quentin to the Phillies for Raul Ibanez. That would give the White Sox an outfield of Juan Pierre, Granderson and Alex Rios, with Ibanez providing a Plan B if Dayan Viciedo doesn’t grab first base.

First of all, any team that isn’t the Yankees should be dismissed out of hand. But let’s assume Brian Cashman says something that can’t be unsaid about Minka Kelly, and Jeter gives up on the Yankees, so we have to give this a second thought. You need read no further than halfway through the first paragraph:

[Ramirez] will become an expensive proposition starting in ’12. If the White Sox signed Jeter,

These fifteen words involvee wo shortstop scenarios. One is that the Sox retain Ramirez in 2012, and he makes $2.75 million in 2011, and $5-6 million the next year. The other is that the White Sox sign Jeter, who is angling to make a minimum of $15 million for that year. In Rogers’ exercise, the guy making $10-12 million more is not the “expensive proposition.” No, it’s the guy under club control who is the problem.
There’s less of purpose in taking that trade apart, but I will say that dealing Ramirez, Teahen and Linebrink for Granderson and Montero puts the Sox at -2, so we know it’s a bad trade for the Sox.
This column comes a week after his Cubs-Sox SuperTrade, which was merely a clever way to make the tired suggestion that the Cubs and Sox should swap Jake Peavy and Carlos Zambrano. I almost want the Sox to make a trade just so he has something to do.
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In legitimate news:

RHP Waldis Joaquin, claimed off release waivers by the White Sox from the Giants, has rejected the claim and declared free agencyless than a minute ago via web

Of all the moments in the Waldis Joaquin Era, I would have to say my favorite was when the White Sox claimed him from the San Francisco Giants, followed by his rejection of the claim to become a free agent.
And there’s your sneak peek at the White Sox Outsider 2011 transaction log.

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jasonc23

To paraphrase, everywhere I look, something reminds me of him. RIP Leslie.

fustercluck

So much for my Wire-WhiteSox mash-up novelT-shirt idea: “Where Waldis At?!”
Rogers must be proposing the ridiculous to inspire critical reasoning. Either that, or nobody’s checking his work for basic reading comprehension. At least it inspired Jim to analyze the trade proposition with a rousing game of 3×1-1.

tdogg

Late to the site so didn’t see you posted something on the Rogers piece. This really my be the most ridiculous thing he’s ever said since……last month.
Let’s not forget his mention of the Twins and how Jeter equals a front line starter……

baseballjones

Can anyone else see the resemblance between Phil Rogers and Lt. Frank Drebin? I mean, obviously you have to start by taking off those goofy little glasses, and then thump him over the head with a 5 lb. sack of flour (get in line behind me, no pushing please)….yeah, I can see it.
Echo the RIP Leslie Nielsen, a real talent, and certainly didn’t intend to besmirch his name by drawing a weak parallel to a hack like Rogers. I guess I just couldn’t resist the opportunity to daydream about thumping a Cub fan with a 5 lb. sack of anything…

knoxfire30

Uribe got 3 years 21 mil, WOW

striker

I wonder if/how that affects Alexei’s long term price.

bigfun

Not much, I would think, as it’s the length rather than the per year amount that’s surprising, and that shouldn’t have much influence on a player under team control.
Dodgers play interleague in Chicago in May. I wonder if they’ll use the return of Uribe and Garland to make it a premium game?

lorenzobandini

They must throw a lot of first pitches right down the middle of the plate in the NL West.

stopdrop8

Rangers signed torrealba to a two year deal- there’s one fewer team that’ll be intersted in pierzynski.

pander

$3 million, with a $50,000 bonus for each game he doesn’t play.

moroots

Phil Rogers needs a hobby, or should do some volunteer work, or something.