Diagramming Mark Teahen's defense

Watching the hot corner toast the White Sox third baseman again motivated me to create a flow chart accounting for 90 percent of possible results when a ball heads his way.

Mark Teahen’s defense has been, in a word, inspiring.
Not in the traditional way, mind you. He followed up a non-error error on Tuesday with two genuine errors on Wednesday, one of which led to four runs in a 5-1 loss to the Detroit Tigers.
However, watching Teahen get burned by the hot corner once again motivated me to create a flow chart trying to account for 90 percent of possible results when a ball heads his way:

Alas, it doesn’t cover when a grounder ends up in the crowd via his shin, but I simply don’t have the imagination to account for all the plausible outcomes.
(A tip of the cap to Szym at Baseball Think Factory for the inspiration.)

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Jim Margalus
Jim Margalus

Writing about the White Sox for a 16th season, first here, then at South Side Sox, and now here again. Let’s talk curling.

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815sox

This situation with Teahen is so damn frustrating in so many ways. The extension is the real killer.
This post however is hilarious, for some reason the shin deflection reminder is the funniest to me.

fustercluck

You’ve obviously given his play way more thought than the front office did before they signed him.
KW: “Dayton assured me that Mark is a special, special player. We found out later that he never takes off his batting helmet.”

Shinons

Look, Teahen’s defensive problems are just because he’s playing too many of them. Just two days before he played three innings at first base – look how many different numbers I used in that sentence! Who wouldn’t be confused!
Fact: guys who play multiple positions make more errors, but are more valuable due to their flexibility. I didn’t do any research to back that statement up whatsoever, but using the “Fact: ” method of presenting it automatically makes it true. It’s science.

sars

i really hope you’re not serious about the “guys who play multiple positions….are more valuable” thing. you realize they have to play those positions well, right? teahen’s been pigeonholed as a dude that can play multiple positions because he’s been a league average bat on a team (royals) that had dudes they wanted to play more. what do they do? move him. just because he’s play third, second, right, left, and first doesn’t mean the guy isn’t a DH.

bigfun

The last two sentences seem to make it pretty clear that his comment is satirical.

Shinons

Heh, yeah, I was being facetious.

knoxfire30

Mark Teahen the worst player to have his arbitration years bought out by the whitesox ever?
OR
Mark Teahen the worst player to have his arbitration years bought out since Mike MacDougal?
VOTES PLEASE!!!!! Im saying ever!

knoxfire30

Is it true Morel is starting today over Teahen, if so hats off to ozzie, gutsy move that had to be made.

mechanicalturk

It’s true! And Beckham should start playing again after this series ends today so we should be back to power hittin’ Omar in the hot corner.
Proofs: http://twitter.com/InsideTheSox/status/24019355251

buehrleman

fantastic, but i’m going to have to disagree with the result when he charges a softly hit ground ball. i maintain he has a 50% chance of making the play and a 50% chance of creating a bad hop for himself and booting it.
his defense is stupefying. do you think he might have steve sax syndrome?

mechanicalturk

I remember reading this: https://soxmachine.com/2010/01/25/soxfest-democracy-inaction/
Specifically, this:
“After following Mark Teahen’s tweets over the weekend, I almost feel bad for questioning his presence on the roster. I hope he’s able to reverse his slide, because otherwise he’s going to be the player you hate to hate.”
Too right, Jim. Mark Teahen is a bench-quality player, and that’s where I want to see him used. Who cares if he is absurdly overpaid for this role, you’re only doubling your loss by playing him a way that he simply shouldn’t play.

moroots

At least Greg Walker was able to fix his swing…..oh crap

Andrew Reilly

Don’t forget about his awesome stick-to-itiveness, and his ability to grind the game the right way, or whatever it is $14 million buys these days. Or maybe he’s somehow instrumental in future negotations in ways we simply can’t yet understand.
Williams: “John, we feel this is a fair offer, and we’d like to keep you in Chicago.”
Danks: “A cement mixer full of Teahen’s Famous Chili shows up at my house by noon tomorrow or I walk.”

Doctor Memory

Williams: “You got it, John. How spicy would you like it?”
Danks: “Hot, with high cheese. And, Kenny . . .”
(About to reveal another contract being unexpectedly instrumental in this negotiation.)
Williams: “Yes, John?”
Danks: “I want a case of Shredded Wheat in the shape of Jenks’s beard, too.”

Doctor Memory

You did this just for me, didn’t you, Jim?

Doctor Memory

And . . . will you stay up until 4 this evening to flow chart Omar’s impact? (“Situational genius” will have to be the center box to and from which all flows are directed.

ricksch

When the Sox acquired Teahen, I didn’t know his play all that well. I remembered he seemed to get a lot of timely hits against us. I only ASSUMED he was an average or better than average 3rd baseman — since the stated intent of the team in the off-season was to improve last year’s fairly horrid defense.
I was stupified to understand that Teahen has ALWAYS been a crappy third basemen, which was why the Royals had him playing so many positions — they were looking for a spot he couldn’t hurt them.
Turns out DH is the ONLY spot Teahen can’t hurt you defensively. The man is clumsy, pure and simple. He’s not going to get better.
The extension is even more baffling as has been discussed already in great depth. We could be free of this clod at season’s end, but, sorry, we are stuck with this bad, bad contract for two more years — or is it three?
Teahen should only be considered a lefty DH next year with maybe 15-20 starts at first — the position where he can do the least damage.
It will be impossible to trade him unless they eat lots of salary, which for some assinine reason we just don’t do.
Loved the FUSTERCLUCK line to JIM — “you’ve obviously given his play a lot more thought than the Sox did before they signed him.”
That truly says it all and much more succinctly. But I had to drop my own personal bag o’ crap on Teabag anyhow.

ricksch

Six games out. Only a miracle will do.
KENNY’S GRADES 2010 —
Teahen acqusition D
Teahen extension F
Not signing Thome F — as in F ME!
Hudson for Jackson D — Jackson very, very good, but lost cheap and apparently very good arm going forward
Month of Manny for $4.3 C — desperate “all-in” move was worth a shot, but Manny still looking for first extra base-hit. Ends up a big waste of money.
Vizquel pick-up B+
Kotsay pick-up F
Jones pick-up C –
Pierre trade B
Peavy trade INC
Rios pick-up B –

bigfun

I don’t see any reason to give Peavy an INC if you’re grading other multi-year moves. Just call it the big fat D it has been since it was finalized.

lorenzobandini

B- for Rios?! He is the best center fielder they have had for years. A constant problem for the Sox has been FIXED.
Jackson has been a stud and will be a stud next year. Hudson pitches in the National League. Who know how good he would be against real hitters. He certainly didn’t impress like Jackson has.

ricksch

Trying to be optimistic about Peavy — though so far we’re paying about $2.2 million per win for the “Jakemeister”.
I could see bumping Rios up to a B or B+. His 30/20 year is pretty impressive. Still, Oz lets everyone run and Rios has been nailed 13 or 14 times. Rios’ OBP is what sticks in my craw though, especially for what he’s getting paid. Still though, he has played a GREAT center this year and makes tough plays look routine.
The thing with Jackson is that trade only makes sense if the Sox get to the playoffs. Yes, he’s been great for us, but Hudson’s minimum contract has tremendous value on a team with several underperforming or non-performing contracts, i.e. Teahen and Linebrink. I agree the NL is inferior to the AL, but there are still five or six pretty good line-ups there and a few more that are at least as good as KC, Cleveland, Seattle and other AL bottom dwellers.
Vizquel has been a great pick up for the money and clearly made Alexie a better shortstop.

dalton

Agreed. B+ for Rios and an A- or better for Vizquel. Who would have expected what the Sox have gotten from Omar?
I loathed the trade for Jackson at first, but I quickly ate my words. He’s been fantastic up until his last start. A- for that one.
Pierre is a B.
Peavy is a D/INC. If he pitches well next year, it’ll be an A – B grade, because the guy is a stud when healthy and situated properly to AL hitters.
Kotsay and Teahan get an F, as in WTF? was with those two signings?

fustercluck

Ozzie could have saved you a whole lot of time. They’re not going to beat the Twins. Everybody gets an F.
#ThomeLogic

ricksch

Forgot a few:
Putz pick-up B-
Santos pick-up B+
Sale draft A-

dalton

Putzy has to be worth more than a B-. Until his recent slide, he was lights out.
Sale is an A. Kid could be a stud.

alwayssox

He wasn’t great but he was so-so as a regular third basemen a couple years ago. He is pretty big. I wonder if he got bigger during that time and if that would have affected his play.

saltydog

Yes, but what does his dog think of all of this?

fustercluck

ESPY: [pees on Teahen’s leg]
BTW, Teahen naming his dog ESPY would be like Kevin Smith naming his cat Oscar. OK, maybe it’d be more like the Brooklyn Brawler naming his goldfish Slammy.

bigfun

I think calling Teahen a DH is a bit too much – his career numbers look pretty average for the outfield corners and first base. Basically if they use him as a younger, somewhat better version of Kotsay, he could be useful and only slightly overpaid.

winningugly

Absolutely fantastic, Jim.