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Before we begin, make sure to vote on the last bullpen spot. I thought Andrew Sisco was the best representative of the sinkhole that was the 2007 bullpen; Ryan Bukvich was nominated, seconded and thirded.
We’ll put it to a vote. Their cases in summary:
Sisco: From start to finish, it hurt and he hurt. He cost the Sox something of value, crashed hard, was awful in Charlotte too, then got injured and hasn’t pitched since. Can’t fall much harder than that. Also a lefty, which gives this bullpen two of them.
Bukvich: He was Simply Bukvich ’til the bitter end. In his last appearance, he faced two batters. Both of them reached (a hit and a walk), and all three of his inherited runners scored. His name rhymed with two separate curse words, making it highly shoutable.
I almost threw Amos Dewon Day in here to make it a three-way, but he just wasn’t around long enough.
While democracy works its magic, here’s what the rest of the Worst Team of the ’00s looks like, barring no further comment:
- C: Ben Davis
- 1B: Timo Perez
- 2B: D’Angelo Jimenez
- 3B: Andy Gonzalez
- SS: Royce Clayton
- LF: Jerry Owens
- CF: Brian Anderson
- RF: Joe Borchard
- DH: Harold Baines: World Pup
Changes: I’ll accept Rob’s argument for Anderson (replacing Darin Erstad) because Anderson’s flop was to blame for Erstad, Rob Mackowiak before him and and Nick Swisher after him. It only seems fair. And just because Godfather III shared the same series as Godfathers I and II doesn’t mean people don’t rail on it*, so we can do the same for Harold Baines’ third tour. As a DH, he hit .166/.241/.228 over 162 plate appearances. That’s worse than Andy Gonzalez, so a point for Knox.
(*I’m told — I’ve only seen half a Godfather movie.)
- C: Sandy Alomar Jr.
- MIF: Brent Lillibridge
- CIF: Wilson Betemit
- 40F: Nick Swisher
No changes, but worth noting that Swisher trumps Erstad. I think we’ll remember Erstad because it was a poorly conceived plot from start to finish, but if they kept him on the bench, it would’ve been fine. As was the case with Mackowiak, it was a usage problem, not a roster problem. Swisher was an epic bust — they centered an entire marketing campaign around him — both in the way the Sox handled him and the way he handled himself.
Julio Ramirez: Great suggestion by karko20, and if the Sox stuck with him longer, we could’ve seen something magical. White Sox Outsider 2010 will have a big-assed section on hitting coaches, and I came across this quote from Von Joshua shortly before he was fired in May of 2001:
Asked about working with Clayton, Baines and Ramirez, Joshua said: “We have a saying that you can’t make chicken salad out of chicken poo-poo.”
Let the record show that I did not edit that quote.
Toby Hall: Because he could’ve qualified as the first baseman, too.
The pitching staff stays relatively stable:
- SP: Todd Ritchie
- SP: David Wells
- SP: Scott Schoeneweis
- SP: Jon Rauch
- SP: Arnie Munoz
No changes here. The good doctor suggested Felix Diaz for an honorable mention because he was the biggest tease of Fifth Starter Hell (Rauch had been injured during his, um, ascent), and I’ll drink to that.
- RP: Sean Tracey
- RP: Rick White
- RP: Horacio Ramirez
- RP: Jose Paniagua
- RP: Tanyon Sturtze
- RP: Sisco or Bukvich
- Closer: Billy Koch
The winner of the poll gets the final spot.
Honorable mentions: Dewon Day for being eminently hittable (soxfan1), Bret Prinz for never getting loose (Dr. Lingerie), Mike Jackson for the grand slams (J.J., although Jackson only allowed two) and Ken Vining for guilt by association (hiphopnerd).
This was fun. Thanks.
With Jon Link heading to the land of Garland, the Sox replaced him by claiming Freddy Dolsi off waivers from the Detroit Tigers. He’s a sinkerballer with control issues, but slightly better than Kelvin Jimenez, the last reliever they put on the 40-man roster via this route.
Christian Marrero Reading Room:
*Carl has a great new cart0on at Smells Like Mascot, which I hadn’t put on the right rail… until tonight. My bad.
*Andrew has his own worst list — the worst good teams of the decade.
*J.J. Putz doesn’t mind being the opening act for Bobby Jenks.