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In the fall of 1949, the baseball gods sent the angel Abner to Chicago, a city in Illinois, to a general manager pledged to put together a contender for a woman named Grace Comiskey, a descendant of Charles. The GM’s name was Frank Lane. The angel went to him and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The baseball gods are with you.”
Frank Lane was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Frank Lane, you have found favor with the baseball gods. You will be with an unproven young second baseman from Philadelphia who will turn into an icon. He has been given the name Nellie Fox. He will be great and will be called the MVP in 1959. The baseball gods will have his number retired, and he will reign immortal in Cooperstown, albeit posthumously.”
“How will this be,” Frank Lane asked the angel, “since we finished 34 games out of first?”
The angel answered, “Easy. It’s just gonna cost you Joe Tipton.”
“I am the baseball gods’ servant,” Frank Lane answered. “May it be to me as you have said.” Then the angel left him.
Merry Foxmas, everybody.