Friday, March 14, 2008 - Posts

Swisher sixth? Get ready for 4-6-3

All it takes is one sentence to get me going:  Take it away, Chris De Luca:

Ideally, the Sox would prefer to keep [Jerry] Owens in the leadoff spot and bat [Nick] Swisher sixth or seventh.

Let's keep going with this one-sentence theme.

If Swisher bats sixth or seventh (Seventh? Really?), A.J. Pierzynski would likely bat behind him.

Pierzynski grounded into 21 double plays last year, seventh in the American League.

Pierzynski came to the plate with a runner on first 173 times last year.

Swisher stood on first roughly 195 times by himself last year (82 singles, 100 walks, 10 HBPs, reached on error three times).

Pierzynski grounded out to second base 73 times last year, by far the team leader and at a pace Darin Erstad would be proud of.

Pierzynski is one year older, and presumably one year slower.

If Swisher does hit sixth, what's the over-under on Pierzynski double plays in 2008?

I say 25.5.
posted Friday, March 14, 2008 3:21 AM by Jim with 3 Comments

What about 'Ode to a Grecian Herm'?

Over at AOL Fanhouse, Tom Fornelli, whose other online gig is at Foul Balls, asked me to take part in the MLB poetry previews.  Being a dork, I was happy to oblige, and since Robert Frost is one of the only noteworthy people to share my birthday and his museum and gravesite are roughly 45 minutes away from here, I had to holler at my boy.

I had a couple other ideas before arriving at Frost, but couldn't see them through to completion:

1. Allen Ginsberg.
I saw the worst team of my generation
Destroyed by badness; Ozzie's hysterical
Then I forgot how the poem just kinda keeps going.

2. Walt Whitman.
O Captain! our Captain! Our fearful trip is done
The ship is now marine life reef; golf season has begun
It ultimately fits, but Paul Konerko just isn't that interesting to be the subject of three stanzas.

3. Frank O'Hara.
Mike MacDougal has collapsed!
But his style is a little too plain for parody.  The other I came close to using:

4.  William Kenny Carlos Williams.
I have traded
the arms
that were in
the minors

and which
you were probably
excited
for next year

Forgive me
I am ambitious
so daring
and so bold.
Either way, whatever I'd come up with wouldn't hold a candle to the greatest baseball poem I've seen, parody of "The Raven" that previewed the Royals' 2003 season.  Two sad facts from reading it now:

No. 1:  You could replace "Pena" with "Ozzie" and a lot of it would still work.
Not much of OPS knew he; loss of veteran pride did rue he;
Grounding to the right side knew he, was the perfect way to score.
No. 2:  Ryan Bukvich is mentioned as an underwhelming reliever five years ago.

************************

Moving away from the nerd front, a few off-day items of note:

*Toby Hall is scheduled to make his first game appearance of the season today.

*Javier Vazquez is starting the season opener instead of Mark Buehrle.  Not a fan: Warren G. Harding.

*Joe Crede is worth young, bona fide pitching to the Sox, and dreck to the Giants.  This surprises nobody.

*Kyle McCulloch is the forgotten man.
posted Friday, March 14, 2008 2:43 AM by Jim with 4 Comments