posted on Tuesday, July 15, 2008 9:45 AM
by
Jim
We gotta stay positive (updated)
In honor of
the new Hold Steady CD coming out today, here are a dozen Hold Steady/Lifter Puller quotes to put the Chicago White Sox's first half of the season into perspective:
(And yes, I'm well aware lead singer/songwriter Craig Finn is a Twins fan. Consider this stealing the mascot.)
***
Bruised hips
From doing the bump too much-- Lonely in a Limousine
After failing to hit 200 homers for the first time this millenium (they finished with 190),
the White Sox offense is set to blow by that mark this year. They have 129 at the All-Star break, 12 better than second-place Texas, and a pace for 220.
***
But the Father and the Son they seemed like regular folks.
Jesus rolled his eyes when his Dad made Jesus jokes.
And He forgave me for my sins.-- Sketchy Metal
Carlos Quentin might have been the only guy anticipating his breakout season, but it doesn't mean he's ready to enjoy it. He came into Chicago so tightly wound he needed a sports psychologist, and all reports indicate that he hasn't loosened up much. Fortunately, he seems to tolerate everybody else well enough.
***
The guys they call me LL Cool J
'Cause I've been here for years
And you can't call it a comeback
If you've never even been away
And I ain't never been no place-- Cruised and Accused of Cruising
For
Jim Thome, who was never having as bad a season as many Sox fans thought when they were crying for his release. Now that he's hitting .253/.375/.512, the mob has quieted considerably. Or at least set its sights on Paul Konerko.
***
I've been straight since the Cinco De Mayo.
Before that i was blotto.
I was blacked out. I was cracked out.
I was caved in.
-- Hot Soft Lights
Mark Buehrle actually didn't start his hot streak until a week after May 5, but the point still stands. He owns a 2.35 ERA and a 1.17 ERA over his last 11 starts, and his rejuvenation couldn't come at a better time, with three-fifths of the rotation slumping or close to it.
***
I heard that kid from California
Turned out to be an a--hole.
-- Modesto Is Not That Sweet
For Joe Cowley, who has rebounded from the Jon Garland trade by setting his sights on the return from Los Angeles, Orlando Cabrera.
***
Her name was Sally
But they all called her Sal Mineo
She was lit up like an arson
But she burned out like Arsenio
-- Secret Santa Cruz
For Mike MacDougal, whose value to the White Sox approximately lasted two months of what will be a three-year, two-month tenure, since he has zero trade value these days. He's allowed 50 baserunners in 26 2/3 innings at Triple-A, and is 0-3 with a 5.74 ERA.
The difference between the 2007 and 2008 bullpens? Last year, MacDougal was the primary right-handed arm before Bobby Jenks. Entering this year, he was No. 4 at best. The guys ahead of him are doing their jobs.
***
There were screams and jeans
and curves and
nerves.
-- Curves and Nerves
For Gavin Floyd, for whom everything was going swimmingly until he walked seven batters in just 2 2/3 innings his last time out. He's allowed 22 runs in his last 27 innings, so momentum he does not have.
***
Katrina got a little bit religious again
She said,"Lord grant me twenty," she said, "Lord grant me ten,
Because I can get by with ten if I can get a little bit from my friends."
-- 4 Dix
For
Jose Contreras,
who is getting a ton of run support over his last seven starts and still sports a losing record.
***
Hey Nelson Algren!
Chicago seemed tired last night!
-- Chicago Seemed Tired Last Night
For
Ozzie Guillen, who lit into his team, and was thought to have ripped into his boss, which led many to wonder if he had jeopardized his job yet again. They were 30-26
when Ozzie exploded and vowed shake-ups, and 24-14 since. He called Sunday's loss to the Rangers
"horrible" and "embarrassing," perhaps laying some tracks for the second half before it starts.
***
Katrina, this is serious
Juanita ate the evidence-- Manpark
Obligatory
Juan Uribe weight joke.
***
Twin Cities!
They're ganging up on me!
Twin Cities!
They're double-teaming me!-- Math is Money
For
the Minnesota Twins, who have paired with the Sox to provide the head-to-head AL Central duel nobody expected. Their offense has climbed to average and the pitching doesn't beat itself, so they'll probably be in it for the long haul.
***
We're gonna build something this summer.
-- Constructive Summer
We're halfway there.
******************
Minor league roundup:- Winston-Salem 7, Kinston 3
- Bobby Jenks gave up three hits and one run in his inning of work.
- Anthony Carter picked up the win, allowing two earned runs over 5 2/3 innings of "relief."
- Henry Mabee pitched two scoreless innings.
- Brandon Allen and Estee Harris homered; John Shelby went 2-for-5 with a double.
- Rome 2, Kannapolis 1 (Game 1, 7 innings)
- Charlie Shirek struck out six over five innings, allowing one run on six hits with no walks.
- Eduardo Escobar had two of Kanny's three hits; Sergio Miranda had the lone RBI.
- Leroy Hunt took the loss with an unearned run.
- Rome 3, Kannapolis 0 (Game 2, 7 innings)
- Johnnie Lowe struck out seven over five, but allowed three runs (two earned).
- The Intimidators could only muster four singles.
- Bristol 11, Danville 6
- Juan Silverio went 2-for-4 with a homer and four RBI, but committed his 10th error.
- Brandon Short went 2-for-5 with a double and two runs scored.
- Onarkys Paniagua threw a quality start: 6 IP, 10 H, 3 ER, 0 BB, 6 K.
- Ogden 8, Great Falls 5
- Frank Rosario was hammered for seven runs over two innings.
- Ryan Strauss struck out three over two perfect innings.
- Tyler Kuhn went 3-for-5 with two RBI; Jesus Avila had two hits.
- Charlotte OFF
- Birmingham OFF
Notes: Justin Cassel pitched a scoreless inning in
the Southern League All-Star game, and Jon Link and Joseph Torres combined for one themselves.