posted on Tuesday, May 30, 2006 11:08 PM
by
Jim
Democracy in action
May 30, 2006
To: Mark Anthony Buehrle
We, the undersigned, while recognizing that your rapid manner of pitching leads to success far more often than not, also recognize that said style often results in an excessive number of unearned runs that hampers the chance for your team, the Chicago White Sox, to succeed.
Over the past three seasons, you have allowed 18, 13 and 17 unearned runs, the last of which led Major League Baseball’s American League in 2005, an alarming fact in and of itself. Yet at the current rate at which you are allowing unearned runs to cross the plate in 2006, you are on pace to top 25 in that category at season’s end.
There have been various excuses offered as to explain why you break down after defensive contretemps; tipping pitches, unfair balk calls, or additional substandard defensive play have been employed in your defense in the past. Alas, the biggest culprit amidst these meltdowns is merely an overabundance of pitches thrown towards the upper part of the strike zone that catch the white portion of the plate. Said pitches are often described as “meatballs.”
The
contest tonight, May 30, 2006, between the Chicago White Sox and Cleveland Indians, illustrates the distress caused by such neglect. After an unsuccessful diving attempt by Jermaine Trevell Dye, you proceeded to throw misdirected pitches to four of the next five batters, resulting in three runs that would not have scored using your conventional standard of precision. Official scoring rules as provided by Major League Baseball declare that unsuccessful diving attempts will not be ruled as errors, so in this case the runs were earned. For series of events such as tonight, there are no victors – with the exception of the opposing team.
We are calling for additional resilience during situations after which the defense does not complete a desired play. We believe that completing this alteration would improve relations between the involved parties, as well the relationships involving other members of the Chicago White Sox and members of the Baseball Writers Association of America who participate in Cy Young Award voting.
These aforementioned parties all would greatly appreciate a subsidence in the number of unearned runs, which would lead to a significant increase in both your personal win column and that of the Chicago White Sox. You are the only party who can change it.
Sincerely,
Jim Margalus
The undersigned